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SUBMITTED BY DENNIS. MEMBER OF BPKIDSSA SUPPORT GROUP
Hi all. What a wonderful heartwarming chat group. As a male and thus not a mom, I won't take up much space on the chat line except to maybe occasionally chip in my 10 cents (which in this message is very long, aoologies, but I want to send out this message 😊). I have suffered from BP all my life and I understand very well the pain of severe depression, unbearable anxiety, fear, uncontrolled aggression etc. So I have credibility in contributing to this group. First I want to really salute all of you for the bravery you all show in aggressively tackling and coping with a situation/s often characterised by despair, heartbreak, grief and sometimes seeming hopelessness. Your love and sacrifices for your children are clearly shown by the personal things that each of you share on the chat line, and the level of support (and love) that each person shows towards one another other is very touching. I hope all of you give
yourselves great credit for this and appreciate your high self-worth. The importance of recognising our self-worth is of immense value and has played such a major role in helping me to cope with my situation in latter years. One of my prime goals is to help my children (8 and 13 who are OK thank God) not allow anything, or anyone, rob them of their self-esteem, as this one of the important tools that enables us to develop other life skills such as appreciating the futility of worry, anxiety, fear, guilt, regret, what-if, living your life in the future etc., Other life skills such as respecting others (and very importantly ourselves), learning to be assertive and feeling free to say no when needed, creating clear boundaries for ourselves, recognising the dangers of people pleasing, or being rescuers of people to our own detriment, and learning not to allow put downs and unfair criticism to intimidate us can also be of immense value to in helping our children to cope with their condition and preparing them to face a world which continually seeks to put us down and bring stress into our lives. All of us as adults can of course also benefit hugely from learning these skills
Of course this all sounds great in theory but I want to encourage you all to know that I have found that BEING AWARE of these skills and PRACTISING HARD to get them to play a role in the lives of both ourselves and our children, is INCREASINGLY ATTAINABLE with resolute DEDICATION. I cannot emphasize how much my efforts to develop these life skills have helped me in so many ways to help conquer my condition and make life both rewarding and worth living (in amongst the inevitable hardships which can only be addressed by painful endurance). I will pray for all of you that the God of peace will enrich you with all knowledge and wisdom, patience and endurance, as you cope with the challenges that face all of you and enable you to reward yourselves with regular pleasurable experiences which you all richly deserve for being such special moms.